Protected: another month gone

another negative pregnancy test. it’s like that single, dark line was taunting me. it’s been six months. that may not seem like a long time, but when you want so badly to be pregnant, it’s an eternity. my husband thinks he’s being supportive and says every month, “don’t worry. if you can’t get pregnant we’ll just adopt.” he doesn’t seem to understand how that *doesn’t* help the situation. i want my own child. my biggest fear, obviously, is that one of us is infertile. that would be the end for us because we can’t afford to have the doctor help us get pregnant or to adopt. at least not now.

the other day, joe received a call from one his friends letting him know he had gotten married. we weren’t invited because it had been hurridly thrown together since his now-wife found out she was pregnant. i swear, if joe and i weren’t married we’d have a child by now. but since we did it the right way, we’re being punished.

when and if i get pregnant, i’ll let you all know. until then, assume i’m not. i really wanted to have my first child before i turned 30, since the chances of getting pregnant then are lower, but since i will be 28 in march, i’m starting to doubt that will happen.

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9 Comments »

  1. 1
    Laurel Says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Cady. I am sure it is so frustrating… do you have any insight into what might be happening?

  2. 2
    Sara Says:

    I’m sorry you have to go through this! *HUGS* Have you talked about getting tested? I think they recommend after trying for a year to have both partners tested for fertility issues. It took us forever to get pregnant the second time.

  3. 3
    Laura Says:

    Oh sweetie. *hugs* I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “since we did it the right way, we’re being punished.” That has been my motto for years and years. I SO understand that, even though it’s in different ways.

    I know it’s hard but try not to panic. There are hundreds of girls on my message boards who have struggled with TTC and they’ve made it. Fert drugs, IUI, even IVF, etc. And this may just be completely a matter of timing. They’re so inspiring. Have faith! I will pray for you.

  4. 4
    Holly Says:

    Have faith Cady. Its not easy. I a friend who tried for 3 years before getting pregnant. I have mentioned her before she has RH also. They started the adoption process and she stopped stressing out and wammo they got prego.. I will be praying for you.

  5. 5
    Chas Says:

    You know I know how you’re feeling. It sucks. I know you think that if one of you does end up being infertile that you’ll just have to throw in the towel, b/c that’s what we thought as well, but you’ll find a way IF that’s the case. Odds are that in a matter of time you’ll get that baby you want the old fashioned way. Some of us just have to be patient.

  6. 6
    stacey Says:

    Aww … this will all work out, I know it! Patience is so hard – and I can imagine it’s really difficult when it comes to this sort of thing. I’ll pray for you guys.

    And dare I ask which friend got someone pregnant? … I have a feeling I know who that would be.

  7. 7

    I can’t even imagine how frustrating it must be for you, but I’m definitely thinking of you and sending lots of hugs.

  8. 8
    Lisanne Says:

    I’m so sorry, Cady. 😦 I keep visiting your blog and wondering, “Will today be *the* day when she’ll share happy news with us?” I can’t even imagine how frustrated you must be feeling. It has to be such a source of stress. There are *lots* of options for you, so just see what happens, I guess. And like someone else said above, after a year (if nothing happens) you could get tested to see what’s going on. Maybe you could ask your OB/GYN right now to see whether he/she has any insight? I guess just keep having fun trying and being patient … hopefully you’ll be able to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, haha 🙂

  9. 9
    Lisa Says:

    ((HUGS)) It will happen and you will be a great Mom, one way or another! Sweetie no matter if you you give birth or adopt the baby will be “yours” You won’t be borrowing it. 🙂 Hopefully you are having fun trying!


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