Protected: bummed

joe and i are very involved in our community. joe is president-elect of our kiwanis club, and as many of you know, organized a hot dog eating contest during the 4th of july festivities this year. my family came down to support him, and his family came from their cabin in the mountains for it. i think that’s very important.

now, it’s my turn. you all know i’m planning our club’s kiddie day parade, which is one of the biggest events held here. it’s a HUGE undertaking, and will involve at least 300 kids as well as many other groups. it’s a big thing for me. my parents will be here. joe’s will not. they just don’t want to make the same trip they did for joe for me.

i’m really bummed about that. i feel like it’s a slap in my face, like they’re really showing me how they feel about me. i feel that if they really accepted me they would support things i do, as my parents do for joe. they come to everything he does. his parents don’t do anything for me.

so now i’m really bummed.



  1. 1
    Laurel Says:

    That’s frustrating. I felt the same way a few weeks ago when the bridge collapsed in Minneapolis. So many people I knew reached out to me to check in about my family, but AS’s family didn’t say a word (they didn’t even ask him if my parents were okay!).

    When we saw them last Sunday, I thought that at least someone might mention it, even though it was a while ago now, but no one said a word. I was actually kind of surprised by how hurt I felt.

  2. 2
    sara Says:

    I hate that for you – it is just something you have to brush off your back and be thankful that YOUR parents are great and supportive of both of you. I know I feel (and have blogged) about how sometimes I feel like B’s parent’s exclude Anna but I am just not doing anything about it now and then I will see how things go – but don’t lose sleep over it – okay!? =)

  3. 3
    Tara Says:

    Cady, Listen to me good: let this go. Now. I had the world’s worst in-laws. They did NOTHING for me. They didn’t include me or my dead father in their weekly prayers, only their immediate family. They never let anybody in who wasn’t blood related. Some people are just like that. If you love Joe and he loves you, that’s all that matters. It would be nice to be included, to feel that his parents are involved or care about you as much as your parents are/do care about Joe. But it’s not a competition. Expectations are only going to create heartache. It’s just not worth it. YOU support you. And you’re lucky — you have your parents and a loving husband. Be happy with that. Let the in-law thing go.

  4. 4
    Chas Says:

    You sound like my mom. She has always felt that her parents treat my father as if he were one of their own children. However, she has also always felt that my dad’s parents do not give her that same treatment. For instance, they spend loads of money on my dad for his birthday (even to this day, he just turned 49), and they have never bought her a birthday present, not once. There is an obvious difference. I completely understand why you’d be hurt, Cady. I guess I should be more appreciative of my in-laws; they drive me bananas, and I usually would rather not have them around.

    Just try to keep in mind that you’ve got your parents and Joe, and you probably don’t really want anyone there that doesn’t want to be there anyway. Good luck w/ the planning!!!

  5. 5
    Sara Says:

    I agree with Tara, girl, it’s not worth it! After 23 years of marriage, I’ve learned. Seriously. Joe is your family. He will be there, that’s all that matters.

  6. 6
    Lisa Says:

    Awe I am sorry! That is horrible. You are such a great girl too. Don’t let it bother you though, Long as you are No. one in Joe’s book, that is all that matters!

  7. Don’t let it get you down, SERIOUSLY!!! It’s NOT worth wasting your energy over. They probably don’t even realize it means that much to you or that it would bother you- most likely thinking of July 4th as a huge community celebration and party (for example, I’d be more likely to travel for July 4th just feeling more comfortable with the celebration).

    Instead, devote your energy to your hot new shoes, YEAH!!! 🙂 🙂

  8. 8

    I’m sorry to hear about that – do they realise how much of a big deal it is for you? Maybe it’s worth mentioning that you’re upset, even if it is to hubby, perhaps they honestly don’t realise that you’re bummed?

    Either way, I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job! It’s not something I could do easily, that’s for sure. 🙂

  9. 9
    Liz Says:

    Aww, Cady, I feel for you. But I agree with Tara & Sara… it’s not worth it. We all have in law problems, and it seems that the parents of sons are less likely to do things for the wife than when it’s a daughter & her husband. Not sure why that is. I really wouldn’t take it personally.

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