Protected: loyalties

joe is having a procedure done at the hospital on monday. i forget the technical term, but basically they’re sticking a tube down his throat to check his gall bladder and other body parts in that general area because of the pain he’s been having. we don’t know what they will find, if they will have to do anything else and how long the entire thing will take.

after that, he’ll be out of it because they’re putting him under anesthesia. i told my station manager and my news director about a month ago when we first found out. my manager told me not to worry about taking the day off  because i need to take care of joe. and, joe really wants me to be there with him to take care of him. i emailed both of my supervisors last week to remind them, and my news director had it written on her calendar.

today, i got a call from her, saying she had just “heard” that i’m taking monday off. she is pissed because it’s a meeting night. according to her, i should revolve my life and my husband’s life around this job. she has forbidden me from taking vacation time on any day there is a meeting. in fact, we are going away for our anniversary AFTER our anniversary because she’s being such a bitch about it. but i digress. it’s not like i’m taking monday off for the hell of it. i gave her PLENTY of notice to find someone to cover the meeting for me. and, for the record, it’s not even really a meeting. it’s a work session. no votes will be taken. i could write about what they’re going to discuss beforehand. my meeting is at 6, and joe could be out of the anesthesia by then. then again, we don’t know, and he really wants me there anyway. i don’t blame him. he took the day off work when i had my surgery even though i came out of my anesthesia after a few hours.

i’m prepared now to get in quite a bit of trouble tomorrow for taking care of my husband. of course, that’s something she wouldn’t know anything about, but that’s a story for another day. email me if you want to know. 🙂

my question for you: am i doing anything wrong or am i just the target for her bitchiness?



  1. 1
    Laurel Says:

    Ugh. I think that there definitely are managers out there who expect this kind of thing from their employees. But, you know, it’s up to you to determine what your own work-life balance will be and set your own priorities.

    You should stress to your boss that you’ll make every effort to meet your obligations–and follow through with what you promise–but you can expect some flexibility. And, you know, don’t make a habit out of it. In cases like this, though, it’s unavoidable.

  2. 2

    Heck no Cady, there is NOTHING wrong with what you’re doing and you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it at all. Any caring person would do the same thing. And any caring employer would understand that.

    You do what you have to do, little lady.

  3. 3
    Liz Says:

    I cannot believe she’d even consider giving you a hard time. You gave tons of notice, and even if you hadn’t, this is a huge thing. It’s not like you decided you want to go to a baseball game last minute or something. Geez! I seriously think that people who put work before family have major, major issues. We all work to live, not the other way around.

  4. 4
    lisa Says:

    Managers can be big babies sometimes (ok, most of the time). Of course you should take care of your husband. I would just tell her that you’re sorry for the conflict, but Joe is not allowed to drive after his procedure, so you need to be there not only for support, but also to ensure Joe makes it home in one piece.

    Then tell her to get over it. 🙂 (kidding, of course!)

    I hope the procedures go well and they find nothing at all wrong.

  5. 5
    Chas Says:

    Of course you’re not doing anything wrong! She’s probably just PMSing or jealous…

  6. 6
    Emily Says:

    Cady, it sounds like you’ve got your bases covered…emails, voicemails, etc. I don’t suspect anything will come out of this, but for the future if something does arise, I would make sure you’ve got all your communications in some kind of file or have some sort of record of your actions proving you gave them PLENTY of time for replacement. Its silly to think that one should have to look out for their arses like this these days, but its a crazy world out there and each person for themselves so it seems. I am completely behind you in your actions to take care of Joe. I had to take some serious time off work to take care of my mum for one thing or another through the years. Bosses cared and didn’t care… but I had to do what I felt was right. You’re a good, supportive wife who is involved with her husbands well being. Who made that a bad thing to be suddenly?! 🙂
    Love ya

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