loneliness

i feel alone.

joe is going out tonight, and i will be stuck here. i don’t mind if joe goes out, but i hate the fact that he can and i can’t because i don’t know anyone here. i was the one to leave everything and move, and now he has friends and i don’t. it really sucks sometimes. i left my great job, friends and family to move down here. i had to. it was the only way we’d be able to get married. sometimes, though, i wish he had moved. i wish i was the one with friends to go out with.

i hate feeling like this, but i can’t help it. i really don’t have anywhere to meet people. i don’t work with anyone my age, and i’m too shy to go out anywhere myself. of course, there really isn’t anywhere to go to by myself besides restaurants or a bar. i just hate knowing that this is how it’s going to be. even the couples we know live at least an hour away. but i don’t know the girls that well anyway.

and so i’ll have another night with the cats. and i’ll probably clean. i’m not trying to feel sorry for myself, but sometimes i just have to vent.

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